Navtej Kohli Career Mission Blog

These items were taken from real resumes and cover letters. It was also printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine. Enjoy your stay on Navtej Kohli career blog

•     I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
•     I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
•     I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
•     Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
•     Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
•     Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
•     It’s best for employers that I not work with people.
•     Let’s meet, so you can “ooh” and “aah” over my experience.
•     You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
•     I am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
•     I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
•     Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
•     I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
•     I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.
•     My goal is to be a meterologist. Without any training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
•     I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
•     I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
•     Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
•     As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
•     Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
•     Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as “job-hopping.” I have never quit a job.
•     Marital status: often. Children: various.
•     Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. I couldn’t
  work under those conditions
•     The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
•     Finished eighth in my class of ten.
•     References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.

Jokes apart! But if you’re really looking for a bright future, make sure you don’t make such silly mistakes on your resume or cover letter

Wish you good luck,
Navtej Kohli